You Never Really Knew The Kids In Elementary School

This is an odd thing to say but it's weird to see how people you grew up with turn out in life.  It's never how you expect.  Everyone has a different story and has grown up to become different people almost entirely.  It isn't something you really realize in your 20's.  It's more something that you see over and over again in your 30s.  

I reconnected with a classmate from elementary school recently who I was not a fan of when we were kids.  He's grown up to be a really nice guy and it makes me wonder if he actually was nice all along but I didn't see it for some reason.  He remembers me being bullied by our 3rd grade teacher and missing recess every day.  He remembers me being torn apart by another classmate constantly in the 4th grade.  He was also in my 6th grade class but didn't have too much to say about that year.  

It amazes me because I never asked a kid from elementary school, when I was fighting daily for survival, how they viewed what was happening.  He confirmed it was messed up and was sorry that I had to deal with all of that as a kid.  And what is really ironic is that's not even the full tip of the iceberg.  Things were much worse than what he saw.  

When I was a kid, I saw him as a lucky guy with a loving mother who had friends and was constantly given praise for being "gifted".   My mother would talk down about the gifted program all the time.  It wasn't right to have it.  I personally agree but now I wouldn't take it as far as she did.  I was taught to hate the gifted kids and their parents.  Why?  Because my mom was jealous of them.  I was told they thought they were better than us and to keep my distance.  So, I did.  

I was thinking about it recently... how I could not stand this classmate as a kid?  I couldn't think of a single legitimate reason as to why.  It was remembering my mom's jealousy of his mother and jealousy of not having a gifted kid, instead a kid with borderline special needs, that made me understand this guy was never the enemy.  

What I am trying to get at is perception is tricky and memories are mailable.  You might feel real distain for someone but not know exactly why anymore.  You might grow up and look at someone in a more curious way and give them a chance to show you they aren't a bad person.  Maybe you were just a judgmental bitch the whole time and it was never them.  Or maybe you were a kid who didn't know up from down and got all of her information from her mother.  It's a toss up.