Day 2: 31 days of recounting my first year of journeying to autonomy

 Day two of chronicling first year of my journey towards autonomy: I always grew up as an empath. For real, I could feel the people closest to me and what they're feeling. When I first watched FernGully as a little kid, Krista asks if blonde doofus guy can feel the trees pain. That was a normal thing for me. Later, I really identified with the main guy in The Green Mile. So much pain all around me that I could feel from other people. Sometimes, it's hard to find my own emotions when they're buried by other people's. And I grew up around a lot of hostility and anger which put me on edge all the time and I would try to control other people to stop it. Anyway, in the past year I've been learning about shielding and letting go of control of other people's emotions and actions. I just need to focus on my own feelings and actions. That is all I have control over and that's all I want control over. So, when I do a shield, it's like a meditation. I put myself somewhere else in my mind. If I can't find my own feelings I start rubbing my temples and doing a full body scan to identify what I feel and that those feelings are my own. Then I imagine a gold, sometimes pink Shield surrounding me. It only encompasses my body. I imagine it thwarting off other emotions that don't belong to me and I put myself mentally and one of my favorite places. It helps exponentially. So, while I still worry for others and I'm still very affected by others emotions, I no longer own them and I no longer let them control me except for sometimes. I'm not perfect. But that's a huge thing I've been trying to work on this past year.