ACE

Trigger warning 

Something you should probably know is people with complex PTSD, including myself, often have suicide cross their mind when faced with issues that are overwhelming. In those cases I might say stuff like I just want it all to stop or I can't take anymore or whatever. However, I have never been in a state where I was actually in danger where I didn't go seek help. 

Yes, I do feel like I want to escape but that doesn't mean I'm going to hurt myself. I've actually never had a plan in place nor have I looked up ways to whatever. I've never attempted. I've always gotten help when I needed it. 

The thing is it crosses my mind so often when I am so stressed that no I'm not going to go to the hospital every single time. If it gets to a point where it's tormenting me for days or weeks, absolutely I will go. 

I don't think a lot of people realize just how much people with complex PTSD and adverse childhood experiences deal with this thought. It's just not talked about and very hushed. I feel like people should be aware of what goes through our minds when we are overwhelmed.  

Personally, my adverse childhood experience score is unfortunately 10 out of 10. Even 4 out of 10 puts you into a dangerous place for the rest of your life. I encourage you to take a test and see what yours is and see what the statistics are for adverse childhood experiences so you can educate yourself on the issue because way more people are dealing with it than you have any idea. 

 Thank you for listening. 

https://stopabusecampaign.org/take-your-ace-test/