Reflection Poem Inspired by a Poem by Stanley Kunitz

"Manic dust of my friends"

-The Layers by Stanley Kunitz

I have lost so many people 

Within my lifetime. 

People are prone to leaving,

They are fickle,

They refuse to stay.

They value things more

Than loyalty 

And honesty,

And love.

This has happened to me

So often

That I don't trust anyone 

To always be here anymore. 

I don't trust it.

I can't trust it. 

But I can't stop 

Loving them

And caring 

Even if they don't 

Because I feel everything

So deeply.

I'm always 

Trying to protect others

Because I have a sense 

For sketchy behavior

That others ignore

Or do not see.

I warn them

And they don't listen 

And then they often crumble. 

I'm not saying I'm always right 

But I'm rarely wrong. 

More than anything,

I would love to be wrong 

And for the people I love 

To be safe and happy.

I grew up in chaos.

I had to learn body language,

The slightest twitch of the face,

Signaled me to 

Swiftly make a decision to 

Survive. 

A lot of people don't 

Learn this skill

Because they never had to

So they trust too much 

And get crushed.

I have a history of trying 

To control people 

To keep them from harm.

It was always out of fear. 

No one likes 

Controlling people 

Even if their reasoning 

Comes from a good place. 

So, I will warn

But I will not push.

I will not argue.

I will not defend. 

I cannot control the 

Choices of others. 

I can warn them and

They can believe me 

Or not. 

But I'll be here for them 

If I happen

To have been right

Again. 

Until then,

I will continue to hope 

That this time 

I am wrong.