I Want

I want time with friends 

But I can't keep plans.

I want something to do

But nothing is interesting.

I want to close my eyes 

But I'm sick of sleeping 

I want to get tests done 

But I can't leave the house.

I want to reach out 

But words come out wrong.

I want to go back to school 

But I know I'll fail. 

I want to take local art classes 

But I won't show up to all of them. 

I want to fight against injustice 

But I can't even deal with my dog acting out.  

I want a bed that is comfortable 

But I don't believe that exists anymore. 

I want to make art

But my inspiration and drive is diminished. 

I want to cry

But I don't want to feel sicker.

I want to travel 

But it will probably kill me. 

I want to read or watch TV 

But nothing keeps my attention. 

I want to go to therapy 

But I can't concentrate on conversations.

I want to take a shower 

But I don't want to be more fatigued.

I want to feel healthy

But that's never going to happen again. 

I want to accept my situation

But how do you accept a life like this?