It's Been 2 Years - Mother Wound

In less than a week, 

It'll be two years 

Since I cut contact.  

It was never supposed to be forever. 

I submerged myself in therapy 

After we stopped talking.

I was hysterical.

I was grieving.

I am still grieving.

I am still angry.

I am still depressed.

I am still bargaining. 

I still cry all the time.

I still have nightmares. 

I still have extreme panic attacks. 

I still question my worth. 

Most of the time I hate you.

A lot of the time I'm furious with you.

Sometimes I really miss you. 

Once in a while I pitty you.

You didn't have to

React how you did

But here we are 

Two years later and not a word.

People have different opinions.

Some tell me to make peace with you. 

Some tell me to forget you entirely. 

Some tell me to forgive you but still stay away.  

You completely screwed up my life. 

Any goodness I have is despite you. 

You never cared what I needed.

So none of these options are reasonable to me.

So, now I have another diagnosis.

Complicated grief.

So, thank you for that.

Thank you for making this something it never had to be 

At least now I know your true colors.