Sick

I've been more sick

I can't stay awake longer

Than a few hours 

I always feel like I have the flu

My words slur and I walk wobbly 

Everything hurts 

It never ends

I'm not making art as much

I can't focus on books or TV

I'm not going to 

many support groups 

I don't go to appointments 

I literally just lay in bed

And sleep 

Or pray to be healthy again 

Will I ever be healthy again?

Did I ruin my future 

By pushing and crashing

Over and over

When I should have been resting? 

I keep questioning if I did something horrible 

that I don't remember 

Or in a past life to deserve this

I always tried to live 

A charitable life

An altruistic life

A life where I gave all of me

To everyone 

I only want peace, health, love.

Is that too much to ask for?