I'm turning 36

I'm turning 36 tomorrow 

Another year to celebrate surviving.

I had so many plans 

But plans never seem to 

work out these days.

Instead I am sick again.

The stress without accessibility 

Has pushed me into the dark.

Society doesn't want me here

They don't want disabled people 

In the world

Why do I keep fighting?

Why do I keep demanding equity?

Why do I push this to the point of flaring?

They don't care about me.

They don't care about any of us.

Fighting is starting to seem not worth the effort. 

I want to be in the world

Celebrating my life

Celebrating me.

It doesn't feel like this year is

Worth celebrating. 

Very few still want me around. 

I have my husband

And my animals 

And friends who will call

We'll make crafts 

and play games 

But these are more plans. 

I will probably be too sick again 

From fighting this war 

I'll never win.

I'll sleep all-day

In isolation 

And wonder if fighting is still something worth doing.