Ramblings About Dreams

I fell asleep before 9:00 so I woke up around 6:00. My whole night was full of tossing and turning and terrible dreams. It's so crazy how I still dream about so many people that haven't been in my life for so long. I'm talking a decade or more. I think it's because the people I dream about have contributed to some kind of formative moment in my life. Because I don't really dream about people I met in college. It's pretty much just people before then.  All of the dreams are pretty similar. It's usually I really want to be around these people but they're treating me badly but while it hurts I keep pushing to be near them even more. The only people from my past that don't hurt me in my dreams and actually want to be around me too are my family friends I met when I was four.  Those are typically nicer dreams. Probably because I'm still connected with them online even if I haven't seen them in a long time.  The people I dream about that hurt me in the dream did hurt me in real life. And then they do it again and again in my dreams. Those people though also were good to me at a time. I was so close to them. I loved them. But then they hurt me and we never spoke again, not really. And now our relationships continue in my dreams. I wonder exactly why that is. And like craziest thing is when I wake up I miss them. And when I'm sleeping, I don't want to stop the dream. Even if they're hurting me, I need them. And then I wake up and I have to remember they're not who they are in my dreams. They've all grown up. They all have different lives. And I honestly wouldn't want them in my life as it stands now. It's just so weird.